| Oh Gott |  |
"A lot more fun" lässt mich mit Schaudern an Jar Jar Binks erinnern oder an die Slapstickeinlagen von John Boyega in Episode 8. Und warum irgendwer dachte, dass Poe Dameron nach Episode 7 eine größere Rolle brauchte ist mir auch nicht klar. Wurde dessen Actionfigur am häufigsten verkauft? Ist der Film den Amis sonst zu divers mit einer Frau und einem Farbigen in den Hauptrollen? Kylo ist ja auch schwarz. ;) Weil es Star Wars ist erwarte ich das Schlimmste. Wahrscheinlich wird es so ein emotionsgeladener Film wie die Soapopera mit Anakin und Amidala. Ich sehe Rey und Finn schon auf einem Sternzerstörerwrack in der Wüste rumfläzen.
Rey: "You're so funny, Finn."
Finn: "No you are funny, Rey."
Rey: "Stop it, you are making me blush."
Finn: "No you are making me blush."
Rey "You're so funny."
Finn: "I love you, Rey."
Rey: "I love you more."
Finn: "I love you even more."
Rey: "I love you so much you can't even imagine how much it is."
Finn: "I love you more than I love Rose."
Rey: "Why did you have to bring up that bitch? You ruined a perfect moment."
Finn: "I am sorry, Rey."
A speeder bike arrives at the scene, Poe and Rose jump down into the desert sand. They angrily approach Rey and Finn.
Poe: "Rey, come back, my love."
Rey: "But Poe, I ..."
Poe: "You come back right now."
Finn: "You can't tell her what to do."
Rose: "Shut your mouth, Finn."
Finn: "Ok, Rose."
A naked Kylo appears. He is only a vision of Rey but she can feel his lust and power.
Kylo: "Make them leave. Or I will."
Rey: "Can you all just give me a moment?"
Poe, Finn and Rose look puzzled. Finn finds his words first.
Finn: "Yes, my lo ... loving Rose wanted to go anyway."
Poe: "Ah, whatever."
The three leave. Rose kicks Finn in the butt, Finn rolls down the complete star destroyer in a five minute long first person camera scene. The camera pans to Rey and Kylo with some heavy petting. A rancor appears.
He swallows them whole, but Kylo wasn't really there. Rey is dead. Then we hear a familiar buzzing sound. A lightsaber appears in the middle of the rancor. Rey is alive. She is all gooey and looks like shit.
Rey: "Kylo, come back."
Kylo is back. He is wearing his mask. And he looks different.
Rey: "No. It can't be."
Kylo?: "Yes."
Rey: "No."
Kylo?: "Oh yes."
Kylo? drops his masks. And it is Luke. He just forceprojected himself as Kylo to Rey to make out with her.
Rey: "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."